Trip down memory lane

Today I have been busy cleaning out the closet under the stairs. What a mess! This is the place that I throw everything that doesn't have a place to go. And really, I just throw it in and shut the door! As I was wading through the chaos of everything micellaneous I opened a plastic bin and found my old yearbooks. I decided to take a break and look through them. Whew! Can I just say that I am so glad that high school is not the determining factor of what we become in this life?! As I glanced through the pages I had mixed feelings. Yes, I had great friends and had lots of fun with them. I was good at school and always got good grades. I wasn't picked on or tortured. I wasn't popular. I was just there. And I realized, that for the most part, my highschool years were just awkward. Blah! So looking through the pictures just made me realize how awkward I was, how awkward I acted, and how awkward I felt.

I was shy and quiet and could never really think of anything to say. I had crushes on boys but I never dared talked to them. I wish now that I had. I mean really, I had nothing to lose. I wish that I had relaxed more and not worried so much about "fitting in", whatever that means. I wish that I hadn't been so intimidated by everything. I wish that I would have been a lot more bold and daring and tried new things. I wish that I had been more assertive. I wish that I had not acted like I thought people expected me to act. I think people saw me as introverted and forgettable, but maybe they didn't. Who knows? I feel so very different from the person I was in highschool. Thank goodness! I have come a long way and have changed so much. I think people would be surprised. I haven't seen anyone (except for a handful of people) from highschool since we graduated. I actually look forward to my highschool reunion (if we ever have one) because I feel like I have become the person I always wanted to be. I feel that person I was in highschool (the awkward, shy, unsure, passive person) is no more. I am me now. I am confident and comfortable in who I am. I feel like I can do all those things I wanted to do that I never did do because I just wasn't confident enough. (Okay, awkward sentence. I am still a little awkward!)

I don't know where this whole thing is going. I guess I just wanted to say that I am glad that I am who I am today. I'm glad that I was able to change the things I didn't like and overcome my fears and insecurities. I wish that I had been able to do it all in highschool, but at least I was able to do it eventually. And really, life doesn't end after highschool!